For every man who’s been told his wiring is wrong.
I watched the Chris Koerner episode of Diary of a CEO yesterday, and something finally clicked that I’ve been trying to put into words for a long time.
The connection I feel with guys like Chris and Steven? It’s not about idolizing anyone. It’s recognition. When you spend most of your life being told your wiring is wrong, seeing someone else succeed with the same wiring hits different.
Chris is open about how he doesn’t force himself to focus. If he tries, he gets bored out of his mind. When something grabs him, he hyperfocuses. When it doesn’t, he moves on. He’s a starter. A builder. A chase-what’s-interesting kind of operator.
That’s me. It always has been.
The problem is, I spent decades trying to beat that out of myself. I tried to force myself into one lane because that’s what the world says is responsible. I tried to make my attention behave like everyone else’s. I tried to “stick with one thing” long past the point where the spark was dead.
And every time I forced it, things fell apart.
I’d blame myself. I’d assume the issue was discipline or willpower or maturity. But the truth is simpler: I was fighting my wiring like it was the enemy.
Watching Chris talk so casually about following his energy instead of forcing his focus made something land that probably should’ve landed years ago.
Some people are built for depth. Some are built for breadth. Some are built for stability. Some are built for possibility.
Fighting the way you’re built is one of the fastest ways to destroy your own potential.
That’s the part of the conversation that hit me hardest. These guys aren’t succeeding in spite of the way they’re wired. They’re succeeding because they stopped apologizing for it and started building around it.
I’ve spent most of my life thinking my tendency to jump between projects was a flaw. Something to outgrow. Something I should be ashamed of. But the older I get, the more obvious it becomes that this is actually the source of my best ideas. My best thinking. My best work.
When something grabs me, I can go all in with a type of intensity that becomes a superpower. And when it doesn’t? Forcing myself to grind through it makes everything worse.
The lesson here isn’t “be flaky.” The lesson is to build systems around how you actually work, not how you think you’re supposed to work. Use your hyperfocus. Use your curiosity. Use the part of you that lights up when something feels meaningful.
For 51 years, I’ve been trying to make myself operate like a different kind of person. Now I’m learning to cooperate with my own wiring instead of fighting it.
And once you start doing that, a funny thing happens.
Your life stops feeling like a battle with yourself.
Your work starts to make a lot more sense.
Your path starts to feel like something you can actually walk without burning out.
This isn’t about putting anyone on a pedestal. It’s not about trying to be Chris or Steven. It’s about recognizing the truth in someone else’s experience and finally seeing your own clearly for the first time.
Following my energy isn’t the problem.
Fighting it was.
And this next chapter of my life is about building with the current instead of against it.
Trail Marker:
What part of your wiring have you been fighting instead of building around?
– Paul
P.S. If this hit you somewhere deep and if you know another man who needs to read this, forward it to him. Men weren’t meant to climb alone.