Writing

Midlife Identity Crisis in Men: The Self You Never Chose

If you're a man in midlife who feels capped or stuck, the real problem might be the identity you never actually chose. Here's what to do about it.

The Climb #30 – Nice Guy Syndrome in Midlife: The Tax Nobody Warned You About

The Nice Guy Tax is what you pay when you edit yourself for approval, hide your real opinions, and call fear being reasonable.

The Climb #29 – The Entrepreneurial Brain at Home

The entrepreneurial brain can look scattered from the outside. Here’s the difference between testing ideas and running from commitment.

The Climb #28 – Someone Is Watching You

I was scrolling through old messages the other day. Not looking for anything. Just killing time the way you do when you only have a few minutes and don’t want to get into anything. And then one caught my attention: August 12, 2020. A message from a woman named Mary. “I passed my exit exam!” ... <a title="The Climb #28 – Someone Is Watching You" class="read-more" href="https://paullinehan.co/someone-is-watching-you/" aria-label="Read more about The Climb #28 – Someone Is Watching You">Read more</a>

Holding Yourself to Your Own Standards in Midlife

I was driving my wife to work this morning when a friend of ours came up. Not gossip, just the kind of casual morning conversation that ends up accidentally teaching you something. Our friend is in a tough situation. She’s working hard and paying the bills and running the house and watching her partner drift ... <a title="Holding Yourself to Your Own Standards in Midlife" class="read-more" href="https://paullinehan.co/holding-yourself-to-your-own-standards/" aria-label="Read more about Holding Yourself to Your Own Standards in Midlife">Read more</a>

The Climb #27 – How to Get Out of a Rut (It’s Not What You Think)

I was about halfway through my Zoom call with my mentor Brett the other morning when I heard myself say something that felt worth writing down. He asked how I was doing. I could tell it wasn’t the automatic version of that question. It was the real one. So I went ahead and told them ... <a title="The Climb #27 – How to Get Out of a Rut (It’s Not What You Think)" class="read-more" href="https://paullinehan.co/the-climb-27-how-to-get-out-of-a-rut/" aria-label="Read more about The Climb #27 – How to Get Out of a Rut (It’s Not What You Think)">Read more</a>

The Climb #26 – The Cost of Losing Male Friends

A few days ago I asked a simple question on LinkedIn. When’s the last time you called one of your male friends just to talk? I didn’t expect much to be honest. I figured I’d get maybe a handful of responses from guys who said, “Yeah I should do that more” and then just don’t ... <a title="The Climb #26 – The Cost of Losing Male Friends" class="read-more" href="https://paullinehan.co/the-climb-26-the-cost-of-losing-male-friends/" aria-label="Read more about The Climb #26 – The Cost of Losing Male Friends">Read more</a>

The Climb #25 – Starting Over in Midlife When You Feel Too Late

Starting over in midlife feels hard when shame, regret, and feeling behind make action feel exposing. Here’s what really keeps men stuck.

The Climb #24 – The Identity Rules Quietly Running Your Life

Most men don't remember writing their identity rules. But those rules are blocking more of their life than they realize. Here's how to find yours.

Contained Stability

Contained stability is what happens when a life becomes safe, functional, and respectable, but too narrow to feel fully alive inside. This page explains the pattern and what it costs.