The Climb #18 – Finding Meaning in Work: The Cathedral Builders

There’s an old story about the medieval stonemasons who used to work on cathedrals that they’d never actually get to see finished because they were projects that sometimes took over a hundred years just to build.

The story goes that when someone asked three of them what they were doing, the first one said, “I’m laying bricks.” The second one said, “I’m building a wall.” And the third one said, “I’m building a cathedral that’s going to stand for 500 years.”

It’s a cool story, but I honestly never really even understood it fully until I started cleaning shit for a living.

I say that because I realize most people, myself included, don’t actually get to work on their passion project and get paid for it. Instead, most of us have to wake up every day and somehow find a way to get fired up to do the thing that also pays the bills: We have to go to work.

And we sure as hell don’t do it because we want to, but because we have to. You know, rent, kids, groceries, and all that other wonderful stuff we call reality.

Despite what the LinkedIn gurus will tell you, I don’t think the real question is how to escape the grind because, for most people, that’s not a realistic option. The real question is how to survive that grind without slowly starting to hate your life.

And I know this isn’t the only job like this, but for sure, if you’re a nurse, that’s a question that shows up in a really blunt way just about every day.

The Real Job

Part of my job on a daily basis is to provide care for a man who can’t take care of himself. Basically, if you strip it down to the most clinical, completely non-poetic description, there’s plenty of days where all I do is clean shit off of another grown ass adult.

Some days it’s a little shit. Some days it’s a lot of shit. Some days it’s everywhere – on the bed, on the floor, on his clothes, and occasionally on me too.

(Note: I know I don’t get any sympathy from any of the mothers reading this, but I submit to you that there’s a difference between cleaning your child’s shit and, well, all other shit.)

And I’m gonna tell you right now, if the only way I looked at it was just being a nurse who cleans shit, then there’s absolutely no way that this job wouldn’t crush me just like it does so many other nurses.

I’d finish every day feeling like that was just more proof that, yep, here I am, stuck doing something degrading and pointless and asking myself how the hell did I end up doing this?

There’s no way all the shitty messes wouldn’t pile up and have me resenting the job more and more every day.

The reason I know this is because I’ve been there before and jobs like that get really old really fast.

Instead though, the thing that actually ends up keeping me sane on most days is just trying to remember that cleaning shit isn’t actually the real job. All it is is just one little task inside the bigger job.

This will definitely sound corny to a lot of people, but I genuinely believe my real job is something much bigger than the surface stuff.

My real job? Helping a grown man live with dignity. Treating somebody like a human being instead of just another problem to be managed.

My real job is helping a disabled man live the most full version of the life he’s able to live.

I joke with him when it’s awkward. I don’t rush through things just because they’re uncomfortable. I don’t shame him. And I don’t make him feel stupid for something he can’t control.

I know there’s plenty of other nurses who can and do provide care just as well as I do. But what I also know is that there are a lot fewer nurses who can do it while at the same time preserving that person’s dignity and sense of self.

That’s the part I know I bring to the job.

I’m not just laying bricks and I’m not just building a wall. I really am building a cathedral.

And no, it’s not always easy, but when I’m able to remember to do that, it definitely changes things. It doesn’t all of a sudden make it magically better but what it does do is turn it into something that’s a lot more meaningful to me.

You can call it corny if you want to, but I know I’m not just laying bricks and I’m not just building a wall. I really am building a cathedral.

And before anybody thinks I’m trying to paint myself as some special nurse, let me be crystal clear: this isn’t a mindset that I can just permanently keep every day.

Just like anyone else, there are plenty of days where I have a lot going on in my personal life. Where maybe I just have a lot on my mind or maybe I just didn’t sleep well the night before and I’m extra tired. Then I get to go to work and clean shit all day.

And yeah of course on those days I don’t always think about my cathedral right away. But I am proud to say that almost every time, very soon after I’m done, when I’m able to kind of zoom out a little, I can always see the bigger picture again.

And truthfully, more often than not, I actually catch myself while I’m in the middle of the mess simply because it’s a mindset that I’ve practiced for years.

So no, it’s not about pretending that the work itself doesn’t suck sometimes, because it definitely does. But there’s no doubt that for me, the real difference is whether or not you let those worst parts of the day define the whole job.

This Isn’t About Nursing

And I probably don’t need to say this, but everyone should know this isn’t just limited to nursing. Any job can be like this if you think about it the right way.

If you’re a teacher, it’s not all about grading papers. What you’re really doing is shaping how those kids are gonna think about themselves for the rest of their lives.

If you’re in construction, you’re not just building things and hauling materials. You’re creating spaces where somebody’s life is gonna happen.

If you’re in sales, you’re not just pushing products; you’re solving real problems for real people.

Parenting? It’s not all about making lunches for your kids; it’s helping to build that voice inside of your kid that they’re gonna hear when you’re not around and that’ll guide their actions for the rest of their life.

And because I’ve been there myself too many times, I know how easy it is to lose sight of that cathedral. When you do that, though, the problem is that the work itself doesn’t change, but how you think about it definitely does.

And then the way you think about it is what’s gonna determine whether or not you burn out or whether or not you’re able to keep going.

And trust me, that’s important because some days the win is just being able to keep going.

What You’re Really Building

So, what am I trying to say with all this? Basically, if you’re stuck in a job that you just really don’t love anymore, there are ways to make it better.

This is your reminder that you can make a different decision about what you’re actually building. You don’t have to do it in some corporate mission statement kind of way, but you should do it in a way that’s more honest and personal that you can actually live with every day.

Because trust me, if all you’re seeing are just bricks, then you’re going to end up feeling like that’s all you do: lay bricks.

And at the end of the day, that’s just not a very sustainable way to live. You’re gonna get burnt out real quick doing it that way and it definitely doesn’t make life as fun as it could be.